Embers
by shadesofstory
Summary: Gabrielle's late night campfire thoughts. Random little oneshot.


**Random little oneshot.**

At night, as she watched the last embers of the fire slowly fade into darkness, Gabrielle wondered about all the possibilities she never allowed herself to consider during the day.

No, she saved the hours of light for Xena. She watched the sun dance in her obsidian hair as they traveled each day, talking about everything and nothing. Gabrielle had known, from the start, that once she followed Xena she would never be able to stop. She was the most alive, the most enchanting person Gabrielle had ever encountered. On some days, while Gabrielle watched Xena in combat, she wondered if even her friend's darkness drew her in. The unmistakable crash of swords coming together, a flash of white teeth and then a battle cry that pierced even the raging sounds of war. She couldn't stop watching, not even when Xena killed, her sword blurred in a lethal arc, leather armor slick with sweat, blue eyes electric with the energy only a true warrior could harness. She watched closely enough to see Xena's guilt that came with every man who fell in her wake. She watched closely enough to know that Xena hadn't forgiven herself for her life before. Closely enough to know that she never would.

And so, instead of trying to rewrite the past, Gabrielle recorded the present. On scroll after scroll, she made sure that people would remember Xena as the hero she became, a woman willing to give up everything to overcome her murderous past. A damaged soul isn't the same thing as a broken one. No stories of the gods needed to be passed down for Gabrielle to know that was true. Xena proved it to her every day.

At night, as she watched the embers slowly fade, she wondered about how those scrolls would end. They spent their lives fighting. The end sometimes seemed too inevitable to bear.

Xena shifted in her sleep and Gabrielle turned toward her automatically, making sure she was alright. The moonlight lit up her face, and Gabrielle gently brushed the bangs away from her eyes. They had been fishing that day, and even in pale light Xena's skin looked more tan than it had been the day before. Although she protested them out of tradition, fishing days were some of Gabrielle's favorites. Xena was happy by the water, playfully hunting the fish, and she seemed so unlike the brutal warrior the world knew. A memory from the afternoon came unbidden, and she couldn't stop the grin that came with it.

 _"Did you see me nab that last one?" Xena called, holding up a still flailing fish. "He never even saw me comin."_

 _Gabrielle nodded. "Yes, yes, your fishing skills are beyond even the gods, Xena."_

 _Xena pursed her lips. "That sounded a lot like sarcasm, Gabrielle."_

 _She sighed. "I just feel bad for the little guys! You really don't even give them a chance."_

 _"Well," Xena answered, wading out of the lake and flicking water onto Gabrielle, "you don't feel so bad for 'em when you eat them for dinner, now do you?"_

 _"No, I guess that's true."_

 _Xena raised her eyebrows. "Oh, it's true alright. I saw you eying this one already."_

 _Gabrielle frowned. "I was not 'eying' that fish, Xena."_

 _"Oh no? Well what were you staring at this whole time then?"_

 _"Maybe I was just looking at you. I do need to improve my technique, and what better way than to learn from the best?"_

 _"Good point." Xena smirked._

 _Gabrielle nudged Xena with her shoulder, just hard enough for Xena to have to use a hand to steady herself._

 _"Keep that up and I'll make you catch your own fish for dinner tonight."_

 _"Fine," Gabrielle answered, nudging Xena again. "Then you'll have to cook your own fish for dinner tonight."_

 _There was a pause, a look of mischief flashed between two pairs of blue eyes, and suddenly Xena grabbed Gabrielle and carried her into the water._

 _"Xena!" Gabrielle yelled, kicking up waves in her attempt to fight back, but unable to stop herself from laughing. "Xena, put me down!"_

 _"Okay," Xena laughed, dumped her unceremoniously into the lake. "Be careful what you wish for."_

 _Gabrielle tackled her from under the water, sending them both onto their backs, laughing and spluttering in the shallow water._

 _Xena flicked a drop of mud from her arm onto Gabrielle's shoulder. "That's for scaring all the fish."_

 _"Me scaring the fish? You're the one that just threw me into the lake."_

 _"Yeah, well, you deserved it."_

 _Gabrielle smiled. "Maybe a little."_

Xena shifted in her sleep again, and Gabrielle was torn away from the memory. Her friend's face contorted in pain, and she cried out.

"Xena!" Gabrielle said, her heartbeat immediately speeding up, "Xena, wake up. Wake up!"

Two brilliantly blue eyes snapped open, wide with fear. Gabrielle once again swept the bangs away from her friend's face, softly murmuring words of comfort. "It's okay. It was just a dream. Are you alright?"

Xena nodded, suddenly and entirely alert. "I'm alright. Sorry for scaring you."

Gabrielle smiled sadly. "You don't scare me, Xena. Nothing about you scares me." She paused, not knowing whether she should finish the sentence but finding herself unable to stop, the words tumbled out. "Except the thought of losing you."

"Losing me?" Xena frowned, pushing herself up onto her elbows. She was close enough to Gabrielle's face to see the tightness of concern in her friend's eyes. "Why are you thinking about that?"

"I don't know. Sometimes at night I just... Don't you ever wonder what's going to happen to us? How our story will end?"

Xena pulled Gabrielle closer, pressing her lips to her forehead. "I don't have to wonder about that. We'll be together."

"Eventually, yes. But if something happened, if I lost you, I just-"

"Gabrielle," Xena said, pulling back and looking straight into Gabrielle's eyes, "You could never lose me. I'll never leave you."

Gabrielle nodded, and they laid back down together, Xena softly running her fingers through Gabrielle's hair. "It was a good day, right?" Gabrielle asked.

"It was a fishing day. And I was with you. Of course it was a good day."

Gabrielle smiled, letting her thoughts drift into dreams. She didn't fall asleep watching the embers die that night. Because that night she wasn't alone. And one night at a time, one battle or fishing trip or shipwreck at a time, had to be enough.

Because she was with Xena. And so she was home.

 **Thanks for reading :)**


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